How to document harassment: keep the messages, the dates and a record that holds up

Updated 2 November 2026

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Write down every incident as soon as you can: the date, the time, where it happened, what was said or done, and who saw it. Keep the original messages and e-mails rather than deleting them, take screenshots that show the sender and the date, and store copies where the other person can’t reach them. A record made at the time, complete and in order, is far harder to dismiss than memories or a few cropped screenshots.

Start a log today

Keep everything in one place: a single note or document that you add to each time. For each incident, write down:

1. the date and time, and where it happened (the office, a message, a phone call, online);
2. what was said or done, in the person’s own words where you remember them;
3. who else was there or saw it;
4. how it affected you or your work: a missed shift, a meeting you avoided, a doctor’s visit;
5. who you told or reported it to, and what they said.

Write it the same day, while the details are fresh, and don’t go back to edit old entries; add a new one if you remember more. In Notes you can lock a note with a password (select it and click the lock button in the toolbar), which helps if other people use your Mac.

If writing it all down feels like too much after a bad day, say it out loud instead. Volna, which is free, types what you say straight into the note, and because it runs on your Mac, nothing you describe reaches a server.

Keep the messages themselves

• Don’t delete anything, even messages that hurt to read, and try not to reply in anger: your replies become part of the record too.
• E-mails: keep them in the mailbox, and save the important ones as PDFs (in Mail, File › Export as PDF).
• Voice messages and voicemails: save the audio files; some apps delete them after a while.
• Text messages: keep the whole conversation, not only the worst lines, so the context is there.

Screenshots that show who and when

A screenshot is most useful when it can’t be read two ways. Capture the sender’s name or number, the date and time, and the messages around the one that matters. For a post or a comment online, include the address bar. Don’t crop or mark up the original; if you need a marked-up copy, keep both.

Keep copies out of reach

Copy the log, the PDFs and the screenshots to a place only you control: an external drive, or an account the other person has never had access to. If you share a computer, a phone plan or an Apple Account with them, assume they may see what’s there. On an iPhone, Safety Check (Settings › Privacy & Security) shows what you share with others and lets you stop it.

Where to take it

At work, a written complaint to HR or a manager, with a copy kept for yourself, starts a record of its own. Outside work, the police, a court that issues protection orders, a lawyer or a support organisation can tell you what your record needs where you live; the rules differ by country and state. Bring the log, the exported conversations and the originals, not just a few highlights.